Personal Growth - Getting Started

Walt Morrey, NCBTMTB #331446-00
89 rue Montgolfier
69006 Lyon
06.43.51.36.65

Your life is not what you wanted. You're going nowhere and in constant misery. You know you need to do something, but can't quite start. Perhaps you have always had to do everything perfectly the first time. Perhaps you have never been good enough for someone else. You've made some tries, but nothing has really worked. Who do you trust to help?
You might have given up or been asking for help everywhere, looking for someone, something, some religion, some "self-help" book, or some drug to "fix" you. It can't work that way for long. The problems are in you, and only you can fix them. But you don't have to do it all by yourself. In fact, I believe that you can't do it by yourself totally alone.

You might be already doing some kind of 12-step program to keep your acting-out (addiction) under control. If so, keep it up. If not, find a group that starts to address some of your issues. Try a variety of groups. If you do your work, you won't be with a group for more than 6-12 months, tops.

Groups are only a starting point. They help you understand that you are not alone in your problems and are a safe place to start talking about what is going on for you. They MUST be supplemented by GOOD psychotherapy for you to be able to truly move on happily with your life.

It is a difficult task to find a GOOD therapist, but it is ESSENTIAL. Start with personal recommendations from people who seem to have their shit together. Give a therapist a couple of visits to orient to you. It is essential that you tell the truth to your therapist, especially the stuff that you have never told anyone else. A GOOD therapist is one who asks the questions that you do not want to answer. Answer them as best you can. This is the most important work you will ever do in your life! Dig in!!

You also need to pay attention to whatever the therapist has for issues. If they are much the same as yours, AND the therapist hasn't "done their work", you won't get much help from them.

I avoid psychiatrists, since their strong tendency is to give people prescriptions to "fix them". This will just postpone dealing with your issues and allow you to create more chaos in your life. If you must be on medications, discuss it with a therapist and the psychiatrist to minimize the deadening tendencies of drugs.

Sometimes (always?) people need a "jump-start". A good week-long intensive program can help break down our self-created barriers and fears to growth, as well as give some hope that change is possible "for me". I used the Caron Foundation's Codependency Workshop in Wernersville, PA - it was tremendous! I expect that there are other programs with other groups across the country, but this is a good starting point.
Caron Foundation Personal Growth Workshop

Explore your spirituality. Do it your own way. Avoid "Religions" and "gurus".
Do "A Course in Miracles"
Investigate the Unity Movement.

"Insanity is continuing to do the same thing while expecting different results."
Good luck and GET GOING!